Readers, I’m afraid I have some bad news. I’ve been told about this big man who dresses in red velvet with white fur trim (I don’t know who to call first….PETA or the Fashion Police), and how he breaks into our homes in about a week and sometimes leaves gifts, but other times leaves coal (which, quite frankly, is rude since I plan on not calling the Police) for those of us who have behaved in a slightly less desirable manner since last December. And, unfortunately, I was alerted a little too late of this fine print, or this special “clause” (see what I did there?) and I am expecting to be placed on the naughty list this year. But, who ever told you that waking up in the middle of the night for a late night snack was bad??
Exploring/Sneaking around the house (top o’ the couch, baby!!)
I didn’t even wake up my person! I took it upon myself to quietly hit up the restroom and then eat this little piece of candy that I found on the dresser. But, apparently, a “ring” is not candy, which completely explains why it tasted worse than the garbage that I occasionally eat (and am also told is bad). Well this, my friends, is way worse than garbage.
But! You know what! I wasn’t even around last December, so I’m kind of hoping that I slide through with just a warning this year. So, for the last week before this home intrusion occurs, I’m going to be as good as physically possible. Just this morning, I thought my plan was already working and Santa had snuck in early.
Must…..find……presents…..
But, no, I just found an empty box. Hopefully Mom doesn’t tell Santa that I was so frustrated that I tore into that thing like I would a bowl full of bacon.
So, this week’s lesson? I must be patient and good and someone will break into my house and leave me gifts. Here’s hoping I made the list!
….is this convincing??
Wishing you and your families a wonderful holiday season!
Living with abandon,
Capone
#caponeinpittsburgh
#caponeinpittsburgh 