…Gonna Find Out Who’s Naughty Or Nice…

Readers, I’m afraid I have some bad news. I’ve been told about this big man who dresses in red velvet with white fur trim (I don’t know who to call first….PETA or the Fashion Police), and how he breaks into our homes in about a week and sometimes leaves gifts, but other times leaves coal (which, quite frankly, is rude since I plan on not calling the Police) for those of us who have behaved in a slightly less desirable manner since last December. And, unfortunately, I was alerted a little too late of this fine print, or this special “clause” (see what I did there?) and I am expecting to be placed on the naughty list this year. But, who ever told you that waking up in the middle of the night for a late night snack was bad??

Exploring/Sneaking around the house (top o’ the couch, baby!!)

I didn’t even wake up my person! I took it upon myself to quietly hit up the restroom and then eat this little piece of candy that I found on the dresser. But, apparently, a “ring” is not candy, which completely explains why it tasted worse than the garbage that I occasionally eat (and am also told is bad). Well this, my friends, is way worse than garbage. 

But! You know what! I wasn’t even around last December, so I’m kind of hoping that I slide through with just a warning this year. So, for the last week before this home intrusion occurs, I’m going to be as good as physically possible. Just this morning, I thought my plan was already working and Santa had snuck in early.

Must…..find……presents…..

But, no, I just found an empty box. Hopefully Mom doesn’t tell Santa that I was so frustrated that I tore into that thing like I would a bowl full of bacon.

So, this week’s lesson? I must be patient and good and someone will break into my house and leave me gifts. Here’s hoping I made the list!

….is this convincing??

Wishing you and your families a wonderful holiday season!

Living with abandon,

Capone

#caponeinpittsburgh

Dreaming of Summer

The last few weeks have been a tad bit rough….to say the least. One day I’m running as fast as Usain Bolt through grass “dahn” the Point and the next day I’m slipping and sliding and shivering my fur off. However, I must say, Ma has hooked me up!! with the winter gear. I’ve been sporting sweaters, hoodies and leather jackets straight off the runway…and looking good in them too, I must add! (Ladies, I’ve seen you looking, and I’m okay with it.)

Sporting the hottest new leather coat

But, aside from my cool new outfits, I have not a single clue as to what’s going on outside. My paws are freezing the minute I step out and there’s this wet, white, powdery stuff on the ground that tastes like the water from my drinking cup, but much colder. I think my person was expecting me to go bounding through the snow like one of those furry things with the long ears that jump around when I chase them at the park, but that’s not happening. I go outside, take my person for a walk, do my business and get back inside ASAP.

The coldest blow dryer I’ve ever encountered

Last night, after taking a bone-numbing walk through Santa’s Village and trying to chew some of the salt that someone so generously left outside for the taking (which I later realized was an awful idea and paid the price for), I got home to the best surprise ever!!! A spa treatment! This is my absolute most favorite thing in the world. What’s better than a warm luxurious soak? I’ll tell you what is better….nothing!

And what’s even more exciting is just how much more aerodynamic I am and how fast I can run around my condo!! I don’t know why this skill makes my Ma mad, as I’m just trying to help out with the drying process. But, she says I’m ruining carpets…whoever that is.

After my time at the spa, I donned my new holiday pajamas and snuggled in, in hopes of waking up to Summer. I will continue to hope that Summer returns sooner rather than later, however, I’m told this is just the beginning.

Living with Abandon,

Capone

#caponeinpittsburgh